Welcoming my son on vacation

One of the unpleasant experiences of a post-retirement couple is when the children are away on studies or work. In our case, both our children have been away for quite some time. Our daughter pursuing her PhD is away in the US for the last five years. Our son, after completing his Masters in the Netherlands, too has been away for 42 months.  We did not have the pleasure of meeting them for all these years because their work schedules were tight. The spread of the present pandemic was also unexpected.

The social and cultural fabric of our lives has been changing rapidly during the last few decades. The children have started thinking globally on all issues concerning their lives. And many of us in the twilight zone are left stranded with our baggage of many a contradiction. The internet has been benign that we could see and talk to them for hours. However, the vagaries of the time zones and the availability of the dear ones suiting our times are the common difficulties we face.

Here comes some light in the cloud. Our son Mithun, fondly called Unni, is coming down for a six-week vacation. Our daughter Lavanya could not make it as she is busy with her thesis related work. While we are sad that she could not make the trip now, we are a bit relieved that she could see Mithun just before the pandemic when they together made a brief visit to some countries in Europe on a shoestring budget.

I cannot write like a Vishnu Narayanan Nampoothiri or a Sreekumaran Thampi on the intricate and spiritual relationship between a father and a son or a daughter.  I have read their writings that have brought me to tears. However, I would love to do many things with my children now that they are adults. My father had told me that once they come of age, we should treat children as adults in their ways.

I would want to talk to my children as Jean Francois-Revel, the French Philosopher, spoke to his son, Matthieu Ricard, one who had given up a promising career as a scientist to study Tibetan Buddhism. The book “The Monk and the Philosopher: A Father and Son Discuss the Meaning of Life by Jean-François Revel, Matthieu Ricard” is a fine piece in writing with great intellectual honesty. It depicts intercultural respect and speaks of the love between a father and a son.

I also want to talk to my children about their beliefs and their views of the Universe. I want to speak to them about love, their reading habits, happiness, peace, success and their ways of managing stress.

Though my morning walks had stopped since the beginning of the pandemic, I would like to go for long morning walks when he is here. Along the way, we could talk of many things under the sun.

I have bought a new copy of the book “Siddhartha” (Hermann Hesse) that I wanted to give Mithun. Among other things, sublime and profound, it tells of every human experience that teaches us something. My daughter, I am sure, would have preferred a new copy of “Report to Greco (Nikos Kazantzakis).

The house is also getting ready in expectation of his arrival. Since a week’s quarantine is warranted, a room is getting ready for him with my wife Sindhu taking care that he misses nothing right from his toothbrush to the dresses. 

I am helping out matters by cleaning the outside premises using the pressure washer. It is a piece of heavy equipment. Sometimes I feel that age is indeed catching up with me.

Pandiyan is the ironer who helps us with our laundry. Since the epidemic, work has taken a beating due to obvious reasons. Apart from the clothes given to him, I too started ironing the clothes of Mithun that he had left here. To my surprise, I noticed that many of these were hardly worn and belonged to some famous brands that I often did not dare to purchase.

Most activities are happening in the kitchen. From snacks to various sweets, Sindhu is more busy than usual in experimenting with her culinary skills. I give a helping hand like rolling out the laddus!

The D day is on the 10th of September. Welcome home, son!

 

Palakkad, 9th September 2021.